Yesterday was blazing hot. The only reasonable spot to spend it was at the community pool.
As I was packing the swim bag, the picnic basket full of snacks, yelling to the girls to find their goggles, I, a mother, and by definition, a multitasker, simultaneously changed into my suit. Mihiretu, who'd been trailing me as I packed, kneeled to the floor and peered up under my dress as I dropped my drawers in preparation for shimmying into my bikini bottoms.
He shrieked with delight. "I see your penis!"
Reasonably, or as reasonably as one can be while donning bikini bottoms, I said, "I don't have a penis. Girls have vaginas."
He eyed me suspiciously. "Daddy has a penis."
"Yes," I admitted. "Daddy has a penis. Girls have vaginas."
He wrinkled his nose in rebellion and stomped his foot. "No fair! I wanna 'gina."
Vagina envy? Really?
I, still hurrying, always hurrying, pulled off my shirt to put on my bikini top.
Mihiretu guffawed with awe and satisfaction, a true red-blooded male.
"Mama has nipple," he said with a sly smile.
"Yes" I said, resignedly, buckling the suit. "Mama has nipples."
"I have nipple," he said proudly.
"Yes," I encouraged. "You have nipples."
He looked at my chest again thoughtfully for a moment before gesturing grandly towards my breasts, "I no have nipple like that."