I’ve written here before about my best friend from childhood - my first friend EVER - Casey. Her first memory is gazing into my crib and seeing me for the first time. My first memory is crying when she and her brother went home after “swimming” in my wading pool - I missed them.
Casey has always been a touchstone for me. Old friends are great for that. They know you so well, so elementally. They’ve seen you through all the phases of you. They know where you come from, sometimes they have an idea of where you’re going.
Casey came into the shop the other day with her girlfriend, Sarah. Sarah is rad. As rad as Casey. Just as soulful and smart and peppery. Together, like any great couple, they crackle. They give me hope.
We sat on the old porch in the sun. I told them about my latest and ongoing bullshit with a particular man that makes me crazy - in good ways and bad. I asked for advice.
“You can’t buy milk at a hardware store,” said Sarah.
Right. Yes. It doesn’t matter how good a hardware store it is. It doesn’t matter how much money you have. That store just doesn’t have milk.
So that got me thinking. Do I actually want milk? I mean, if I’m spending all this time and energy at the hardware store then I must be after nails, right?
Sarah, wise Sarah, then said “The sky is blue.”
Right. The sky is blue. You can wish for it to be green, you can do everything in your power to make it green, but the sky is blue. And it’s not your fault that it’s blue, that it won’t, no matter how hard you wish it, turn green. It just is.
Then Casey said “You’re ready for what you’re ready for.”
Yes. If I’m at the hardware store, I’m not yet ready for milk. If I’m wishing the sky is green, I’m probably not ready to enjoy the blue.
So the sky is blue, you can’t buy milk at a hardware store and I’m ready for what I’m ready for. One day, under a blue sky, I’m gonna walk into a grocery store and peacefully buy some milk. I’m gonna drink that milk and then I’m gonna go back for more.
Today I’m trying hard not to think about nails.